Purely Fanfiction Moments
by Beware of the Fluffy Ones
Summary: Have you ever been reading and thought 'As much as I love this, it would never happen' or 'Oh look, another drunken Kakshi fic? Well, this is a collection of all those fanfiction moments. KakaSaku. Oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: 26 (or so) purely fanfiction moments

**Summary**: Have you ever been reading something on ffn and thought, 'as much as a love this, it would never happen' well, this is a collection of those moments.

**Some examples of a 'moment**': drunken confessions

Tending to the other person wounds

'A hug that turns into something more'

Cuddling 'because its cold' and

'Getting lost' in the persons eyes

**Paring**: Kakashi/Sakura (because you can pare anyone with Sakura, and Kakashi needs a girl )

**Age:**ummm...older, especially Sakura.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

**A/N** I'll try to update once a week, but, no promises-and- THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! So please no flames, I just think its kinda funny how much cliched stuff happens to these people...oh, and they're supposed to be kinda one-shotish, but, it also kinda follows a story, so...ya...uh, anyways, onward and upward!

Chapter One: Tripping and Landing on Top of the Other Person

Sakura was kinda annoyed when she looked in her fridge and found she was out of milk. It wasn't like she had any reason to be annoyed, she had plenty of money to buy milk (thanks to ANBU), and plenty of time to buy it (thanks to Tsunade, who for some reason decided she should take the next few days off from the hospital). But it was just the fact that she was out-really out- of milk, and now had to do the strange civilian thing of 'going to the store'. Hey, it wasn't like she hadn't ever gone to the super market before- it was more like for the past few years she had had a maid to do this kind of stuff for her, as she was too busy saving lives at the hospital.

"Oh well, a womans gotta do what a womans gotta do." Sakura said some what unenthusiastically to her self as she took a quick peek in the mirror, grabbed her purse, and strode out the door.

As she walked to the store she wondered how all her old team mates where doing. Sasuke and Naruto where now inseparable, Ino had decided ANBU wasn't for her, married Shikamaru, and runs a flower shop with Ten-Ten, who married Niji after leaving ANBU too. Rock-lee had gone with the Sand siblings back to the village of sand to help iron out things there, Kiba, Hinata, and Shino, where currently a team doing long-term missions all over every where. The other sensei now had new teams, but the last she heard Kakashi was doing dangerous one-man missions.

So, that left her.

Sakura sighed and shook her head, trying to dispel the disappointing thoughts as she entered the store, but one more thought poked through before she had time to stop it, _'Ino and Ten-ten are best friends now, and the last time you saw any of the others was three months ago at Team Kibas welcome-home-goodbye-again party...maybe you should get back into the field?'_ Sakura then permanently stopped the thoughts and whent to the milk aisle.

...This is where the fun begins.

Sakura was rounding the corner of one of the aisles with two half-gallon milk jugs in her hands (she couldn't remember if she liked the one percent or the two percent kind)- when she ran into Kakashi.

I say 'ran into' but it was really more of a one-way crash collision between two very well trained ninjas, with limbs flying, and food scattered everywhere.

It was quite humorous.

For Kakashi anyways.

Sakura was blushing terribly sputtering something along the lines of "K-Ka-Kakashi sensei! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there-and I just kinda- are you all right?- I really didn't see you- which is kinda odd cause I'm a ninja and all that- but you are alright-right? Really I'm so sorr-..." it was then she noticed that that she was no longer standing vertical.

_'How odd'_ she thought _'I don't remember hitting the floor...' _and it was some time around then that she realized that the hard, immobile tile floor wasn't that hard, it wasn't that immobile (it was moving up and down at a steady rate), and didn't seem to be made of tile.

_'uhhh...o...kay...'_ Sakura's brain ever so slowly examined these facts (she was slow probably due to the lack of milk) and came up with an ingenious conclusion. She would ask Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei, do you have any idea wh-" and finally, it was then that she realized her face was about two inches from his, her hand on either side of his head, his hands on her hips (presumably to break her fall- let us think the best of poor Kakashi) and...well, you get the picture.

"Oh. Dear." It then took Sakura a total of two seconds to get off, and stand up in a much less suggestive position.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble sensei" she mumbled looking down,

"Hey," Kakashi said gently, picking up his grocerys and handing her the milk that started all this trouble, "Its not every day I get glomped by Konoha's most beautiful koinochi."(A/n I'll have to look up how to spell that one)

Sakura just blushed and bowed her way out.

**A/N ohh, the wonderful clichedness of it all! Gotta love it! And hopefully I can work in some of those 'gravity defying silver hair' and the 'pink tresses' remarks.**

**The next 'moment' up will be...'Being Put on a Mission Together'...**

**I think...**

**I'm not quite sure how to make that one funny...**

**oh well! Keep an eye out for the next chappie!!! ****authoress smiles at shameless advertising**

**And don't forget to hit he magical purple button and leave a review!**


	2. Lady Hina

Being put on a mission together

"What?!" was all the pink hair kunoichi had to say, the rest of her stundness was completely devoted to gaping like a fish.

"A C-class mission?" a certain silver-haired Jounin asked "With Sakura?! Honestly, you insult my abilities, Tsunade."

He got a death glare from Sakura for that last remark.

"Oh, I don't mean that your bad Sakura, just that I haven't had a D-class since I was a Genin!"

"Uh-hu" she didn't buy it.

When Tsunade first called Sakura for a 'missions assignment' Sakura thought she was going to be assigned back at the hospital, not on field. And especially not on field with Hatake- Kakashi. And even MORE especially after what happened at the store the other day, Sakura was still blushing about that.

"Well," the fifth, Tsunade said, "You better get over your over-inflated ego Hatake, I don't have time to mess with your wounded pride. Now- Sakura pay attention!" The pink haired kunoichi indeed looked as if she had completely zoned out, but we most humor her, she had had a bit of a stressful week.

"Now," the fifth continued after Sakura had somewhat revived, "Its a simple C-class escort mission, you are to take 'Lady Hina'" here she put Lady Hina in air quotes to show her distaste for royalty, "back to her home-land in Wave, you will take turns insuring her safety in the carriage on the way there, and you will walk back. I expect this to take no more than a week. You well leave immediately. That is all." She nodded her head towards the door, just in case they had forgotten the way out, and turned back to her paperwork.

"But wait!" Sakura managed to sputter to Tsunade, as her partner was walking towards the door, "Why us? I mean-"

She was then cut off by Tsunade, who was clearly expecting the question.

"Because she is 'royalty', and in being so, gets whatever she wants. She wanted a medic and a Jounin. So, she gets a medic and a Jounin. I only picked you because your the only one here that Hatake would be civil to-"

"Hey!" Kakashi objected, but Tsunade ignored him.

"And I only chose Kakashi because he's the only Jounin available that can walk on two legs."

"But-"

"And, before you ask, I didn't want to wait a few more days for someone else to come in, I can't stand another minute of that girl-now GET OUT!"

And thats exactly what Kakashi and Sakura did.

"Well, I really do feel Kinda sorry for Tsunade, that girl must have been a real pain." Sakura said, as they walked to the compound that 'Lady Hina' was staying at.

"Hmg, now that pain is gonna be our pain." was all her partner said in return.

"Oh..." _wow dude_, inner Sakura said(who was currently dressed as a weed-smoking hippy) _your really marshing my mellow..._

Sakura was just feeling a smile creeping on to her lips at the thought of a weed-smoking Sakura, when she heard the most blood chilling screech.

The screech sounded something like 'I DON'T WANT THE RED ONE, I WANT THE BLUE CARRAGE YOU NINCOMPOOP!!!!'

And it seemed to be coming from a Lady dressed in blue.

A Lady, who was none other that Lady Hina herself.

"Big pain indeed..." was all Sakura could say.

_ marshing my mellow_ means something along the lines of 'your a party pooper' or 'you ruined my groove'

A/N: haha, look, I updated! And so soon too! Ok, and there was a mistake in the last chapter, I forgot to put in Chouji, oops, so lets just say he opened a Stake house **smiles**.

This is one of my favorite cliches, so is the next one, but I'm not going to tell you! **smiles even wider**

Thank you to all who reviewed, and don't for get to push the mighty purple button!


	3. Red or Blue?

**A/N:**ok, my Beta said I didn't really make it clear enough, but I'm not sure how to fix it, so I'll just tell you; Kakashi, Sakura, and Lady Hina are all riding in the same carriage.

Chapter Three: Having Unintentionally Close Quarters

Kakashi decided he really hated the rain. If it hadn't rained, he wouldn't of had to get in the carriage in the first place.

Kakashi decided he didn't care much for Lady Hina either. If she hadn't insisted on them all taking the blue carriage instead of the red one, there would have had more room.

And lastly, Kakashi decided Icha Icha had _way_ to much description on the female body. If Jiraiya hadn't been quite so explicit, maybe he wouldn't have noticed Sakura's long legs, nicely shaped thighs or other womanly traits.

_This is really__frustrating_, he thought, trying to find a page in Icha Icha: Smut Gone Wild that didn't have the hero saying some kind of innuendo to the heroin, _I wish I weren't quite so close to Sakura._

Because, as it where, they where quite squished together.

Kakashi sighed and put down his book- as he was more than a little unsuccessful in his search for something wholesome- and decided to tune into whatever Lady Hina (the cause of all his despair) and Sakura (the object of all this despair), where saying.

It seemed Lady Hina was having a very animated conversation with her self about blue tapestries.

How interesting.

Kakashi turned his one good eye to Sakura, and saw that she was day-dreaming out the window. She had one hand in a fist under her chin, and was smiling a little bit, like she was remembering much happier times.

His eye lingered a bit on her smile, wondering what exactly she was thinking about. _Not you, that's for sure, _his inner self silently told him. Kakashi mentally scoffed at such an absurd idea, but then wondered why he felt a bit of disappointment at that thought. Perhaps it was because more and more lately he had caught himself thinking about the little blossom. He _had_ thought it was just an innocent wondering how his old pupil had been doing, but after that time in the store, and now this, he was beginning to doubt his good intentions. But what would happen to them if they did get mixed up in a relationship? He didn't want to know.

He unknowingly let his eye wander across her face and look at her eyes, which held a soft, sorry happiness in them, and then down her pink cheek and across her jaw-line and down her neck. Kakashi wondered idly what it would feel like to trace her jaw with his finger, and then kiss-

W_hat the?!_ The silver haired ninja jumped a little at his disturbed train of thought, O_kay, I need to think about something else... elephants, yes, elephants... alright, elephants and what? Elephants and... whipped cream__! Yes, okay, elephants and whipped cream...hmmm...whipped cream..._

I think it will suffice to say he didn't succeed.

About ten minutes later, Sakura turned to see how Kakashi was handling their close positions, she had just come to realize she had been day-dreaming about a certain silver- haired Jounin and whipped cream, when she found, to her surprise, him having a very animated conversation with Lady Hina about the best colour for tapestries.

**A/N**: ok, I'll admit that its shorter than the others, and I'm sorry, I just haven't written this kind of lemon in SUCH a long time.

But review! Make a poor authoress feel better!

And many many thank to shipper Tish, What About Today, and all the others who reviewed, you guys totally make my day!


	4. Cuddle

Cuddling 'Because its Cold'

Sakura and Kakashi where about half a day from Konoha and in the middle of a very wet forest. Sakura was beginning to wonder which was better, walking through a muddy forest with Kakashi or riding in a carriage with Lady Hina.

She wasn't sure.

Sakura thought back through the previous week, it had taken four days to reach their destination on a usually one and a half day trip because Lady Hina insisted on stopping at every inn (Lady Hina had said something about wanting to enjoy the sights)

But still, four days was enough time to try the patience of a saint.

It was four days consisting purely of listening to Lady Hina babble. It wouldn't have been so bad if she could have talked a bit with Kakashi, but after the first day he opted to walk in the cold rain.

And she couldn't join him because Lady Hina absolutely _insisted_ she stay in the carriage.

Sakura wondered how she had survived.

But, her ears where still intact when they drove up to the main gates of Wave, and Sakura was all too happy to drop her and go, when Lady Hina said something to her.

_Lady Hina looked down at her blue slippered feet, wondering how to say goodbye to the medic nin. _

_'She really does wear a lot of blue' Sakura thought idly, wondering why Lady Hina hadn't left already, when Hina hugged her._

"_Thank you for listening to me, I know I can be a bore sometimes, but I do get so lonely." _

_And just like that she was gone._

Sakura's tender heart melted when she thought of that quick exchange, she knew what it was like to be all alone, and she suddenly felt a bit guilty when she thought of Lady Hina, and wished she had at least tried to make an effort on the conversation.

"Alright, its getting dark so we'll camp here for the night." Kakashi's warm voice broke through her thoughts.

"Ok..." Sakura looked around, "Where are the tents?"

"...I thought you had them" Kakashi said slowly.

"...No...I thought it was the leader's job to bring the supplies."

As this was his responsibility, Kakashi had no response.

"Well," Kakashi said after a while, looking at the swiftly setting sun, "It's to late to find an inn, and considering we were both eager to get back home, we cut through the forest, so we're not near the road. There aren't the right kind of trees to make a lean-too...so... I guess we'll just have to huddle together for warmth!" Kakashi made a happy eye crease to show that he was joking, and began to gather fire wood.

At least, Sakura _thought _he was joking. With Kakashi, one can never be sure.

Twenty minutes later Sakura was sitting next to Kakashi after eating a simple rice supper, and was wondering how to start a conversation, when she remembered she wanted to ask Kakashi something.

"Kakashi?"

"hn?"he was staring at the fire, deep in thought.

"When we dropped off Lady Hina, she apologized for bring so annoying, and talking so much...What kind of a family does she come from? I mean, if she feels the need to apologize?"

Kakashi thought for a minute, and Sakura wondered if he was going to give her a straight answer, or one of his frustratingly evasive ones.

"Well," he finally said, turning a lazy eye in her direction, "She's one of the middle kids in a family of ten or something, so I suspect she doesn't get much attention, and probably never feels valued by her father and mother."

"Oh..." Sakura said, and then added faintly "I can relate to that..."

"You mean you come from a family of ten?" Kakashi asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"No!" Sakura felt like hitting him, but decided not to elaborate, as she hadn't meant him to hear in the first place.

After a few moments, Kakashi asked how the other Team Seven members where doing, and the other 'rookie Nine'.

Sakura told him how Sasuke and Naruto where now bonded at the hip, and spent their time divided between doing A-rank missions or eating ramen. She then told him what the other Nine where doing, and asked about his missions.

Kakashi told a somewhat unbelievable tale of how he once found himself unlawfully in a prison, but managed to escape using only a fork and his 'dashing good looks', so Sakura countered with her own story of how she once had to reattach an arm _and a leg_ at the same time, using only a...spoon.

So it was somewhat of a surprise when Sakura looked up to see the moon far overhead, and the fire quietly dieing. She looked at Kakashi and his previous 'huddling' statement came to mind.

Now what to do?

Kakashi looked at her and smiled, "I was just joking you know."

"Of course!" Sakura eeped, trying to stop the blush from rising in her cheeks, "You just sleep over there, and I'll sleep over here!"

"All right." Kakashi shrugged, "Are you sure you won't be cold though?"

S_hoot,_ Sakura thought, _now that he mentions it, it is kinda cold...S_he risked a glance at Kakashi.

He was already fast asleep.

_How do guys do that?_ Inner Sakura raged, _it takes me forever to fall asleep! And now in this cold weather too! Grr..._

_Well...if he's already asleep...maybe I'll just kinda sorta get a bit close- for warmth of course..._

So, after a bit of debating with inner Sakura, (who was currently dressed, and acting for that matter, like a floozy) she did.

It was the best nights sleep Sakura had since she had become a kunoichi.

**A/N: **ugh, I'm done! _Way_ not funny or happy enough for me, stupid Kakashi told me he was to much of a gentleman to cuddle with innocent Sakura...well HA, Kakashi, WHO'S INNOCENT NOW?!?!?

well, it seems I either do short funny chapters, or long not-so hilarious chappies...oh well...

Oh, happy late Thanksgiving to all y'all Americans, and don't forget to leave a review!

Hehe, one more thing a LEAN-TO is a Native American dome shaped shelter made of evergreens (or something) to protect the inhabitants from the weather. There supposed to be really easy to make and everything, but I don't know who taught Konoha Ninjas about Native American architecture...


End file.
